The Real Fred Weasley.....Lord Help Us!
by SilverTrio
Summary: I personally dont like the song, but I kinda liked playing with the lyrics. Takes place at the school talent show, where Fred decides to have a little "fun"....


  
George cleared his throat uncertaintly.  
" May I have your attention please?  
May I have your attention please?  
Will the Fred Weasley please stand up?  
I repeat, will the real Fred Weasley please stand up?  
We're going to have a problem here..."  
  
He hurried off the stage, wanting some privacy to laugh in. Fred just grinned at his twin's opening for him and strode out onto stage. The crowd waited expectantly, knowing it would be a good show. When the first note of the Muggle song hit them however, was when they started laughing. Fred grinned wider and began.  
  
"Ya'll act like you never seen a troublemaker before  
Jaws all on the floor like Snape and Malfoy just burst in the door  
Started takin off points worse than before  
They hate Gryffindor, but Slytherin sucks  
It's the return of the  
Oh wait, Oh crap, its Snape...Should we run??  
And Harry said...  
Nothing you idiots Harry's too busy chasin Cho Chang.  
Hogwarts gals love Fred Weasely  
Chicka chicka chicka troublemaker, Im so sick of him  
Look at him, throwing Filibusters  
Causin trouble with his twin (Yea but theyre so cute though!)  
Yea I probably got a couple of details in my jokes loose  
But no worse than what's going on in Snapes dungeon  
Sometimes I wanna get hit by a Cheering Charm and just let loose,  
But can't, but it's cool for Voldemort to be reborn  
My Canary Cremes are great, my Canary Cremes are great  
And if I'm lucky you just might eat a toffee  
And that is the message that we deliver to little kids  
And expect them not to know what a practical joke is  
Of course there gonna know what a trick is  
By the time they hit first grade,  
They got April Fools Day, dont they?  
We aint nothing but mammals, well some of us sorta morphin  
Who change into animals  
But if we can become Animaguses  
Then there's no reason that a celebrity and a Ravenclaw cant elope  
But if you feel like I feel I got the antidote  
Hope we never see Snape with pantyhose, sing the chorus and it gooooesss"  
  
Secretly to himself Fred winced at Snapes face, knowing he was really risking his Potions grade. He also hoped Harry wasnt too angry with him...  
  
"I'm Fred Weasley  
Yes I'm the real Fred  
All you other troublemakers are just imitating  
So won't the real Fred Weasley...Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up  
'Cause I'm Fred Weasley  
Yes I'm the real Fred  
All you other troublemakers are just imitating  
So won't the real Fred Weasley..  
Please stand up, Please stand up, Please stand up"  
  
"The Malfoys dont gotta work for money   
Well we do, so screw them and screw you too  
You think I give a rats tail about wealth?  
Half of you so called preppies can't even look at me, let alone stand me  
(But Fred what if you got rich, wouldn't it be weird?)  
Why? So I can go to fancy parties?  
So you can sit me here next to Colin Creevy?  
Shoot, Ginny better switch these chairs  
So I can sit next to Professor Lupin and Sirius Black  
And hear 'em argue over who got Snape back best  
The two both amazed me once or twice  
(Yea Fred's funny, but I think he's single, hehe)  
I should go and buy Zonkos with the galleons we got from Harry  
And show the whole world how bad Weasleys can be   
I'm sick of you slimy gits, all you do is sicken me  
So I have been sent here to annoy you  
And there's a million of us just like me  
Who throw Filibusters like me  
Who just don't give a care  
like me  
Who dress like me  
Walk, talk, and act like me  
It just might be the next best thing  
But not quite me."  
  
Fred grinned woflishly, noticing MAlfoy's expression. Good. The little hot head needed some insult in his life.  
  
"I'm like a nutcase to watch   
Cause I'm only causin just as mouch trouble as George   
Those things you joke about with your friends inside your living room  
The only difference is I live it real  
And I don't got to be false or hide it at all  
I just get my fireworks and set them off  
Whether you like to admit it  
I just deliver the punch line better than 90% of you mischeif makers out there  
Then you wonder how come  
boys like to cause trouble like its a fascination  
Its funny 'cause at the rate I'm going when I'm 30  
I'll be the only wizard with kids and still pullin stunts  
Telling the kids about blowin up toilet seats  
But this whole Voledmort's rebirth thing aint workin  
In every single person is a Fred Weasley lurkin'  
He could be workin' at Honeydukes slippin Canary Cremes in your bag grinnin  
Or in the parking lot with a fake wand  
Declarin "Five Galleons!"  
With his windows rolled down and his stuff on his car  
So will the real Fred, please stand up  
And put one of those fake wands up  
And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control  
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?"  
  
He stood silent a minute, as if thinking to himself. Then he smiled, throwing up his hands.  
  
"I guess there's a Fred Weasley in all of us  
Aww, heck  
Let's all stand up."  


  
  
((Yes. the usual disclaimer. I dont own anything in this songifc, except maybe this disclaimer. But basicallery, dun sue me, youd be wasting money on a lawyer. ^.~))  



End file.
